All good travel preparations begin with dusting, apparently. That’s what I did all morning, although only for a few minutes at a time before excitement-and-anxiety-induced ADHD would set in and I would turn around and start something else. I’m adding things to my to-do list faster than I’m ticking them off.
I’m a bundle of contradictory emotions. Having spent much of the past year in a state of existential boredom, I’ve been happily obsessing about this trip since I booked my tickets two months ago. But now, the things I have to do this week—and get done before Yom Kippur—are overwhelming me. I’m not even sure there are that many things to do but they all seem monumental in my present state of mind. And while I love the idea of flying—passports and boarding passes, my carry-on full of magazines, the airport full of people from all over the world coming and going (I guess I don’t fly often enough to think only of delayed flights and standing barefoot on cold linoleum while a TSA agent smirks at my body scan)—the reality is that I am a very, very nervous flyer. Like, in a state of anxiety from the morning of the flight until the wheels touch down. I even feel nervous clicking that final button on Expedia.
Well, it’ll all sort itself out because it has to. It’ll be a hectic week but then it’ll be over and I’ll be on my way. I do wish that my mother had told me earlier than this afternoon that we have tickets to the ballet Tuesday night, though…
4 months ago • Notes